(no subject)

Guppy arrives home from work to find his wife on the phone. She seems to be negotiating something, and after a moment puts her hand over the phone.

"Guppy, it's Dad. He misses the kids and wants to babysit. Says it's not fair denying him access to his only grandson just because Mum's been a plonker."

"Is your mother coming?" Guppy asks.

"Yes, but Dad says she'll only look after Coral, so he'll take charge of Alex. I'm tempted to say yes, just for a few hours; weren't you saying the other day that it's over a year since we went out for the evening? And he seems to have stopped biting since Gene made him promise in exchange for not going to prison."

"Well... let's see what Alex says." Guppy says, going into the living room. "He's the one that has to put up with her being mean to him."

He goes and sits next to the toddler, who is playing tickling Coral.

"Fry, Grandpa wants to see you, and Granny will be there. How do you feel about that?"

"Yes. Want Granny and Grandpa." Fry says, immediately, to his father's great surprise.


They go out. All seems to be well. They leave strict instructions that Coral is to be put to bed when she gets tired, and Alex is to be allowed to sit and watch documentaries. To rebuild relationships, it's going to need him to learn to trust them again, and a good start is them not doing anything negative.

At home, Alex happily watches his penguin documentary. But he's also watching Granny, out of the corner of his eye. He doesn't forget things in a hurry. He doesn't forget her giving him a smack that time, or repeatedly kissing his face when he asked her not to, or calling him all sorts of things she didn't think he understood but did.

And the other day, someone enabled him, gave him permission almost to do something about it. He's still got the handcuffs, having quickly stashed them in his zone, a mini tent that sits next to the sofa.

There's nothing really in reach at first. Granny is sitting on the sofa, complaining to Grandpa about the arrangement, that being allowed to stay up late is 'spoiling' him, and 'it's no wonder he's got behavioural problems if he sits all night watching television', and all sorts of rubbish.

As he's planning how to carry out his plan, Granny suddenly breaks a House Rule. She stands up, and gets Grandpa to push the sofa over to the radiator. In the process, she shoves Fry's zone out of the way. He turns, and stares at her. Everything is looking wrong in here now, it's horrible, things aren't where they should be.

"No!" he shouts. "Put it back!"

"Don't be so rude." Granny says. "I'm chilly, I want my feet next to the radiator with my arthritis."

Fry makes a loud squeal, then notices the pipe. He quietens down, and goes to sit in his moved zone. He digs out the handcuffs. He sits and watches his Grandparents. Granny ignores him completely and starts playing with Coral. Grandpa soon dozes off.

He crawls out. The cuffs are ready open for him. He quietly clicks one side around the pipe connecting the radiator to the wall. Then, he clicks the other side around Granny's ankle.

***

Guppy and Frogspawn are half way through dessert when the phone rings. Frogspawn answers it, and frowns as she listens.

"The kids are fine." she says aside to Guppy, before he can start panicking. She listens carefully, her expression becoming more bemused by the moment. "Dad, slow down, Alex has done what to Mum?"

***

"Where did he get handcuffs?!" Frogspawn demands as Guppy drives home.

"I really don't know." Guppy says. "... wait, Gene was showing him some handcuffs... oh man, he must have pinched them. Gene's going to go spare..."

He swings into the driveway, parks, and jumps out of the car. He goes into the living room to find a very angry Grandma, Grandpa holding Coral and trying not to laugh. Alex's zone has been removed to stop him going into it, and he's sat himself in the corner, rocking.

Guppy crouches down to him with a stern expression.

"Alexander Jefry Sandhu, you must not handcuff your Grandma."

"Under arrest." Fry says, smugly. "She is right to be silent an anythin she says is elephants."

"I told you, you let that child watch far too much television!" Granny yells.

"I'm sorry, he likes police shows." Frogspawn says. "Fry, where's the key?"

Beat.

"Key?" Fry asks. He'd forgotton about that. Gene didn't give him a key. He decides to avoid the question by singing the theme tune to SUPER POLICE to himself.

"YOU STUPID CHILD!" Granny screams, clutching her foot.

"Enough!" Guppy says. "That's not helping. If he has the key, he needs to be calm."

"Not stupid." Fry mutters, glaring at Grandma. "Smart an handsome. Kate said an Mia said an Mummy an Daddy said."

"Just everyone calm down!" Frogspawn says, before Grandma can start on Fry's immodest declaration. "I'm sure we can get this thing off without the key.

***

At 1am, Guppy finally settles down in bed, with everyone sorted out. Frogspawn slips her arm around him and leans her head on his shoulder.

"I can't believe we had to call the fire brigade." she says quietly.

"I can't believe we flooded the living room before we called the fire brigade." Guppy replies. "Whatever possessed your mother to pull on the pipe so hard it cracked? We still didn't get it off."

"At least the fire brigade got it off her so she didn't have to go to Casualty as well."

"Yeah. I don't think Gene will be pleased when he sees Fry not only stole his cuffs, but got them cut in three places. I wonder how much it'll cost to replace them?"

Beat. Then Guppy adds.

"Do you think we'll ever get an evening out that doesn't get us called home to the kids?"

"Yeah. We'll go to the theatre, they make you switch your phone off there."