(no subject)

[guppy_sandhu]

The autopsy of Wilford Warfstache is a solemn affair.

With Autor and Vyvyan there to assist as trainee medical student and health care assistant respectively, Guppy addresses both of them before he starts.

"Right, Wilford has given us permission to do this."

Well, he gave Guppy permission to do 'anything' with his many dead bodies, but he's not going to say that to Vyvyan in case he gets ideas.

"The fact that he comes back is irrelevant. This is a serious business and his body is to be treated with respect. You can ask as many questions as you want, but anything medical that we discuss is not to be repeated outside this room. I will be letting Security know the cause of death."

This is mainly aimed at Vyvyan.

"If you find the process upsetting and need to step out, there's a water machine in the staff room. Better to sit down rather than fall down, okay?"

Comments

[herr_bookman]

Autor is, if he's honest with himself, a tad bit nervous. This dissection isn't his first--he's cut up dead demon bunnies--but it certainly is his first with a human subject. He's not sure how he'll handle it, but he's already planning to excuse himself with grace if he gets nauseated.

What makes this awkward is that the human subject in question is Autor's employer, and they'll be seeing each other whole and unpoisoned after this is done. He tries not to let that get to him. It's just a body, now.

He tightens his grip on his scalpel, drawing a breath through his mask. "Ready when you are."

[vyvyan]

Vyvyan is more nervous than he's letting on. This is bringing back a ton of bad memories of the time he accidentally killed Wilford.

However, if he can persuade Guppy that he could be a health care assistant, he might actually manage to get enough money to sleep inside the bar rather than in his cave. Also he volunteered to dig the hole to bury all the Wilfords in when they finish this.

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy covers Wilford's face and makes sure everyone helping has masks and gloves.

"Okay, outside of the body first. Tell me what you see."

[herr_bookman]

Autor observes the corpse intently, taking in all the details he can. When he thinks he sees everything and is starting to forget the first things, he speaks.

"One long scar up his middle, and about a half dozen smaller ones on his lower belly, and sides," Autor says, adjusting his glasses. "Bruise on the right knee. Four small holes in the back of the left hand reminiscent of the tines of a fork. Long angular cuts on the right arm. Nicotine stains on his fingers."

[vyvyan]

Vyvyan shifts, feeling he has nothing as intelligent to add.

"He's got pink chest hair." he says eventually.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Good." Guppy says. "Nothing on the outside that looks fatal. Initial scan confirmed that too."

He helps Autor with the initial incision, and soon they are exposing Wilford's chest.

"Lungs are black. Not unexpected given what we know of him."

[herr_bookman]

"Will his liver be black as well, due to the alcohol consumption?" Autor says, watching impassively.

[vyvyan]

Vyvyan pokes the lungs, experimentally, then withdraws.

[guppy_sandhu]

"More likely shrivelled. We'll take a look when we get there." Guppy says.

He lifts the lung carefully to have a look at the heart.

"Scan didn't indicate anything obvious cardiac, and this is looking okay." He takes a blood sample to put into the computer, then shows the trainees the anatomy of the heart.

[herr_bookman]

Autor helps slice into the cardiac muscle, dissecting the aorta and ventricles. He notes the bundle of His, the septum, and the left and right atria.

Setting the fully-opened heart aside, Autor waits for further instructions from Guppy.

[vyvyan]

Vyvyan, not really knowing what to do, decides to operate Guppy's camera as Autor works so that the other two have their hands free. He might not know where to cut, but he can line up a ruler on the things they're looking at.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Okay, let's check out below the diaphragm." Guppy says, setting everything back together.

"That's our liver. Gall bladder and pancreas - they're always less carrot-shaped in real life."

[herr_bookman]

Autor didn't expect the smell to get to him as much as it is. He tries breathing through his mouth, having read that people don't taste without inhaling through their noses, and it seems to help a little. He still has to suppress a gag reflex, though.

He decides that he can keep going.

[vyvyan]

"You okay?" Vyvyan asks Autor.

[guppy_sandhu]

"It's okay for either of you to take a break if you need." Guppy says. "Go get some fresh air. We've got plenty of time."

[herr_bookman]

"If you're sure," Autor says, looking rather green around the gills. He strips of his gloves and disposes of them properly before washing his hands thoroughly. Then he all but flees the room, shoulders bowed as if from a great weight.

[vyvyan]

"The smell's not me." Vyvyan says, going to get some water.

[guppy_sandhu]

"I know." Guppy says. But he sprays a bit of odour neutraliser around.

"We should be done soon, since I'm not a pathologist and there's a limit to what we're going to be able to see between us."

[herr_bookman]

Autor spends a few minutes with his head between his knees, chastising himself for not being able to handle something as routine as a dissection. If he wants to be a medical student, he's going to have to get used to those.

After he's done breathing through his nose, he reenters the operating room, and washes his hands again. Donning gloves again, he stares at the corpse. "Okay. I'm ready again."

[vyvyan]

Vyvyan gives Autor a little pat on the shoulder, which may or may not be helpful.

[guppy_sandhu]

"First things first." Guppy says. "There's not many a medical student alive who hasn't had to step out at one time or another. I used to faint at the drop of a hat in med school, and we certainly didn't have to deal with doing this with someone we know, so don't beat yourself up."

He shows the trainees the intestines. "We're nearly done anyway. Nothing of any great obvious interest here. No abdominal trauma, no major bleeding." he puts everything back together again.

"Can you grab the toxicology report out of the computer please Autor?"

[herr_bookman]

"Yes," Autor says, and turns to the printer to find the toxicology report. He skims the paper while bringing it to Guppy. "Says here it was a stegia poison. I wonder if that's from Wilford's world."

[vyvyan]

"How'd it get there? Wasn't dying his chest hair with it was he?" Vyvyan asks.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Ingested by the looks of it." Guppy says. "We can let Security work out who and when. I'm not familiar with the poison. All we need to conclude is that he was murdered anyway."

He finishes tidying up Wilford's internal organs.

"Okay, you can both have a go at your neatest stitching, and then we'll go out back and do the burial."

[herr_bookman]

Autor stitches half the body, from the collarbones to the diaphragm, and leaves Vyvyan to the rest. The boy's stitches are neat and precise, as he's had lots of practice embroidering.

[guppy_sandhu]

Vyvyan does the best he can.

Then they wrap Wilford up in a sheet and take him out to the massive hole Vyvyan dug earlier, put him in, along with the other dead Wilfords that had been kept in the Security office.

Autor says a couple of awkward words, then Vyvyan finishes filling in the hole. Guppy plants a pink rose bush on top, so that nobody digs it up again.