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Feb. 6th, 2010 11:40 pm"YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!"
Guppy hears the shout from his upstairs study, winces and gets up. Apparently his mother in law does not approve of their news.
He goes downstairs and into the living room, where Frogspawn and her mother look ready for handbags at dawn. Mrs Osbourne looks at him and glares.
"You! After everything Fran went through with the first one! You're supposed to be a doctor, you're supposed to know about protection!"
Guppy puts his hands up in surrender.
"Please stop shouting, it's not doing anyone here any good." he says calmly. He is not, in any way, scared of his mother in law. Her bark is worse than her bite. But he can see Alex in the corner, lining up his cars but flinching away from the sound.
"This thing you say he's got, it's genetic isn't it?" Mrs Osbourne says, pointing at Alex. "You can't handle him, let alone another one. And I'm not picking up the pieces when you have two out of control children."
"Alex is a bright, sweet kid and we love him to pieces. Frankly I will be more than happy if baby number two is like him. And he can hear you, so say something nice or shut up."
"Bright? Never seen any signs of that." Mrs Osbourne grumbles. "He can't say Granny, he just sits there doing the same thing over and over."
Alex gets up and walks up to his grandma. Who he doesn't habitually talk to on account of not liking the woman.
"Ee caneer you. Granny's a meenee."
"Fry, don't call Granny a meanie please." Guppy says, dying to know who taught Alex that phrase and knowing he can't possibly encourage it. He nearly explodes trying not to laugh. He glances at Frogspawn, who has gone very red.
"I'm sorry, pregnancy bladder, I have to pee!" she says, struggling not to crack up as she dashes out. Guppy can hear her laughing from the kitchen.
He tries to keep a straight face, and looks at his mother-in-law, who looks about ready to explode with anger.
"What a naughty, rude child! Who taught him to say that?"
"Oh come on, he doesn't know any better and it was probably some echolalia he picked up. But he does actually have a point, you shouldn't stand there insulting him when he's in the room."
"Echowhat?"
"Echolalia. I told you, it means he repeats things he's heard, whether or not he understands them."
"Rubbish! All of this is you two not bringing him up properly. I dread to think what the new one will be like."
Mrs Osbourn leaves, much to Guppy's relief.
"High Five." he says to Alex, who dutifully complies. Father and son exchange a grin.
"You showed her, kiddo."
"Shoder tiddo."
Frogspawn comes back in.
"Guppy, we're going to Disneyland."
"What, right now?"
"No, after Mike has his baby. I've decided we all need a holiday."
"I'm not sure you've thought this through..."
Guppy hears the shout from his upstairs study, winces and gets up. Apparently his mother in law does not approve of their news.
He goes downstairs and into the living room, where Frogspawn and her mother look ready for handbags at dawn. Mrs Osbourne looks at him and glares.
"You! After everything Fran went through with the first one! You're supposed to be a doctor, you're supposed to know about protection!"
Guppy puts his hands up in surrender.
"Please stop shouting, it's not doing anyone here any good." he says calmly. He is not, in any way, scared of his mother in law. Her bark is worse than her bite. But he can see Alex in the corner, lining up his cars but flinching away from the sound.
"This thing you say he's got, it's genetic isn't it?" Mrs Osbourne says, pointing at Alex. "You can't handle him, let alone another one. And I'm not picking up the pieces when you have two out of control children."
"Alex is a bright, sweet kid and we love him to pieces. Frankly I will be more than happy if baby number two is like him. And he can hear you, so say something nice or shut up."
"Bright? Never seen any signs of that." Mrs Osbourne grumbles. "He can't say Granny, he just sits there doing the same thing over and over."
Alex gets up and walks up to his grandma. Who he doesn't habitually talk to on account of not liking the woman.
"Ee caneer you. Granny's a meenee."
"Fry, don't call Granny a meanie please." Guppy says, dying to know who taught Alex that phrase and knowing he can't possibly encourage it. He nearly explodes trying not to laugh. He glances at Frogspawn, who has gone very red.
"I'm sorry, pregnancy bladder, I have to pee!" she says, struggling not to crack up as she dashes out. Guppy can hear her laughing from the kitchen.
He tries to keep a straight face, and looks at his mother-in-law, who looks about ready to explode with anger.
"What a naughty, rude child! Who taught him to say that?"
"Oh come on, he doesn't know any better and it was probably some echolalia he picked up. But he does actually have a point, you shouldn't stand there insulting him when he's in the room."
"Echowhat?"
"Echolalia. I told you, it means he repeats things he's heard, whether or not he understands them."
"Rubbish! All of this is you two not bringing him up properly. I dread to think what the new one will be like."
Mrs Osbourn leaves, much to Guppy's relief.
"High Five." he says to Alex, who dutifully complies. Father and son exchange a grin.
"You showed her, kiddo."
"Shoder tiddo."
Frogspawn comes back in.
"Guppy, we're going to Disneyland."
"What, right now?"
"No, after Mike has his baby. I've decided we all need a holiday."
"I'm not sure you've thought this through..."
