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Sep. 29th, 2009 10:04 pm'The Emperor Penguin (Aptenodytes forsteri) is native to Antartica and reaches an impressive 122cm in height. They may be flightless but can dive to a depth of over 535 m, and make a trek of over fifty kilometers each year to breed.'
"We're going out in five minutes Alex, so this is your two minute TV warning." Guppy says to his young son, who ignores him completely. He wonders for the fourth time that day whether the baby watches too much television, even if it is mostly the educational Animal Wilderness Channel, but then again he does stay awake quite a lot longer than most babies.
"Do you think we should warn the family in advance?" Frogspawn asks Guppy as they get out of the car. It's the first time they've tried taking Alex to any sort of formal meal; but Frogspawn's sister's Divorce/Engagement celebration isn't something any of them want to miss.
"No, just tell them he's going through a thing where he doesn't like being touched." Guppy says. "That's all we really know for certain anyway and it's not news to most of the family."
Guppy gets out the cards from Coreen, finds the two he's after, and offers Alex the choice of Pushchair or Carrying. Alex hesitates, then chooses Carrying. Apparently satisfied by the fact that he got to choose, he makes no fuss whatsoever as they take him inside.
None of Guppy's extended family are present, naturally, given this is an Osbourne/West affair. But the seating arrangements are carefully planned to prevent unnecessary conflict within Frogspawn's often tempestuous relatives. Guppy sits between his wife and son.
"Guppy, why is your child ignoring me?" Grandma Osbourne demands suddenly, leaning over Alex. Guppy, who still hasn't quite forgiven her for letting him go missing for two hours the other week, shrugs.
"He's got a good memory, you probably need to bond with him. You're sitting next to him, so you've got a good chance."
"Alex, can you say Granny?" Grandma tries, attempting to get eye contact and failing. Alex is more interested in his toy penguins on his high chair. Grandma tries removing one of them to get his attention. "Alex, say Granny. Granny."
Alex mumbles something and grabs back at his penguin. She holds it out of reach. "What was that? Say Granny!"
"Empra pegin aptendite frosty" Alex babbles, continuing to ignore Grandma. He doesn't like Grandma, he likes penguins. They don't yell at him.
"Give it back to him." Guppy says quietly, sensing crying will be imminent if not. "He'll learn to say Grandma in time."
"And what was that complete gibberish?"
"I believe the technical term is 'Babble'." Guppy says. "Second word sounded like 'penguin' so he probably picked it up off tv. He has a good memory for sounds, even if they don't mean anything to him."
"He can say 'penguin' but he won't say 'Granny'?"
"I'm sorry, he likes penguins."
Grandma Osbourne gives up, ignores Alex, and starts talking loudly to one of her daughters, comparing the social abilities of her various grandchildren. Guppy ignores her too, in favour of eating and helping Alex with his soup. A giggle from one of his nieces makes him look up. The four year old holds out her finger, with a suspicious looking green blob on the end.
"BOGIES!" she shouts loudly, causing the rest of the restaurant to go quiet and snigger. Guppy barely manages to suppress a giggle, ends up choking on his own soup getting banged on the back by Frogspawn. Grandma glares at him.
"Don't encourage her." She snaps. "Vulgar behaviour."
Guppy rolls his eyes as soon as the woman looks away. The offending niece is only four, not really old enough to know better or deserve more than a gentle reprimand.
He looks down just in time to spot Alex, who has decided to explore his own nostril, wiping his nose dirt down Grandma's brand new black jacket. "Bogies" he says quietly, before going back to being the picture of innosence.
After a moment of trying very hard not to laugh, Guppy decides to pretend he didn't notice. He can gently coax his son out of that new habit later.
"We're going out in five minutes Alex, so this is your two minute TV warning." Guppy says to his young son, who ignores him completely. He wonders for the fourth time that day whether the baby watches too much television, even if it is mostly the educational Animal Wilderness Channel, but then again he does stay awake quite a lot longer than most babies.
"Do you think we should warn the family in advance?" Frogspawn asks Guppy as they get out of the car. It's the first time they've tried taking Alex to any sort of formal meal; but Frogspawn's sister's Divorce/Engagement celebration isn't something any of them want to miss.
"No, just tell them he's going through a thing where he doesn't like being touched." Guppy says. "That's all we really know for certain anyway and it's not news to most of the family."
Guppy gets out the cards from Coreen, finds the two he's after, and offers Alex the choice of Pushchair or Carrying. Alex hesitates, then chooses Carrying. Apparently satisfied by the fact that he got to choose, he makes no fuss whatsoever as they take him inside.
None of Guppy's extended family are present, naturally, given this is an Osbourne/West affair. But the seating arrangements are carefully planned to prevent unnecessary conflict within Frogspawn's often tempestuous relatives. Guppy sits between his wife and son.
"Guppy, why is your child ignoring me?" Grandma Osbourne demands suddenly, leaning over Alex. Guppy, who still hasn't quite forgiven her for letting him go missing for two hours the other week, shrugs.
"He's got a good memory, you probably need to bond with him. You're sitting next to him, so you've got a good chance."
"Alex, can you say Granny?" Grandma tries, attempting to get eye contact and failing. Alex is more interested in his toy penguins on his high chair. Grandma tries removing one of them to get his attention. "Alex, say Granny. Granny."
Alex mumbles something and grabs back at his penguin. She holds it out of reach. "What was that? Say Granny!"
"Empra pegin aptendite frosty" Alex babbles, continuing to ignore Grandma. He doesn't like Grandma, he likes penguins. They don't yell at him.
"Give it back to him." Guppy says quietly, sensing crying will be imminent if not. "He'll learn to say Grandma in time."
"And what was that complete gibberish?"
"I believe the technical term is 'Babble'." Guppy says. "Second word sounded like 'penguin' so he probably picked it up off tv. He has a good memory for sounds, even if they don't mean anything to him."
"He can say 'penguin' but he won't say 'Granny'?"
"I'm sorry, he likes penguins."
Grandma Osbourne gives up, ignores Alex, and starts talking loudly to one of her daughters, comparing the social abilities of her various grandchildren. Guppy ignores her too, in favour of eating and helping Alex with his soup. A giggle from one of his nieces makes him look up. The four year old holds out her finger, with a suspicious looking green blob on the end.
"BOGIES!" she shouts loudly, causing the rest of the restaurant to go quiet and snigger. Guppy barely manages to suppress a giggle, ends up choking on his own soup getting banged on the back by Frogspawn. Grandma glares at him.
"Don't encourage her." She snaps. "Vulgar behaviour."
Guppy rolls his eyes as soon as the woman looks away. The offending niece is only four, not really old enough to know better or deserve more than a gentle reprimand.
He looks down just in time to spot Alex, who has decided to explore his own nostril, wiping his nose dirt down Grandma's brand new black jacket. "Bogies" he says quietly, before going back to being the picture of innosence.
After a moment of trying very hard not to laugh, Guppy decides to pretend he didn't notice. He can gently coax his son out of that new habit later.
