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Aug. 23rd, 2009 10:17 am"If you don't sort it out I'll be taking my daughter elsewhere, and a number of the other mums will follow." One of the parents is snapping at the manager as Guppy and Frogspawn enter for their 'Little chat' with him. Barney excuses himself from the snappy parent and takes them upstairs, leaving Alex downstairs with the nursery staff.
He gets to the point.
"I think you know what this is about." he says. "And first of all I want to say that we're here to help you and Alex find a solution to his problems. I'm certainly not going to ask you to take him out of nursery at this point in time - Alex is generally well settled here and I don't like to give up on any child."
Guppy relaxes slightly. It would have been quite a blow for all of them if Barney had decided to expel Alex from nursery. Barney continues.
"Now you both seem pretty observant and aware of your son's behaviour, so I think the best thing here is to be blunt, honest, and compare our notes so far, okay?"
They nod in agreement, then set about comparing notes on Alex - both the good and the bad, and put together a note for his file..
Alex shows signs of being very bright, in that he has reached some of his milestones absurdly early, knows several words and can point out the colours green and blue. Even more hearteningly, Barney reports that he shows some positive behavioural patterns when interacting with others - he will sometimes point out that a child has fallen over, and will respond to 'Please will you bring me...' if the object is not too heavy and in his vocabulary. He will also echo the word 'Hello' when entering in the morning, if someone says it to him first. And he never lashes out at the other children when they aren't upsetting him.
On the downside, Alex will hit, bite, kick or smack anyone who touches him unexpectedly and or without his consent. He will do this until they stop. When upset, he will hit his head against the wall, hide in small places or corners and rock himself backwards and forwards. He also freaks out if you move the furniture; if he is able to push it back, he will attempt to do so for hours, and if not he will sit and cry until you put it back.
Barney makes a photocopy of the file when they're done, and gives it to Guppy and Frogspawn.
"I think there are two things we need to do here, if you're comfortable with them. The first thing is that we cannot have Alex continuously hurting other babies, and Time Out is not working. My suggestion therefore is that we move Alex into the room with the older toddlers in. We can talk to the children there and teach them about not touching him. That will give him some space to settle down again. We'll bring in a few of the younger age group toys, and keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't eat the crayons or anything."
Guppy nods. That sounds like a fair solution and he appreciates the special effort. Barney continues with the hard bit.
"However, in my many years of experience with babies, I can tell you that the ones I have seen with patterns of behaviour similar to Alexander's have almost all needed some form of learning support a bit later. And for that reason I would encourage you to take him to your GP. I'll warn you that it's unlikely that you'll get any definitive answer either way until he's several years older, but it's better to keep an eye on him and watch for the signs than to wait until he's two or three. With or without a diagnosis, he and you might need support now."
"Barney..." Guppy leans forward slightly. "We're prepared for this. We love Alex and we're going to support him no matter what his needs are. So that we don't just go home and speculate... what do you think we're dealing with here?"
Barney slides his chair back and stands up, gesturing to what he calls the Wall of Fame behind him. On it are pictures of hundreds of children, some babies, some with updated pictures. Barney scans his eyes along the rows, then points to five of the children, one at a time.
"These are the five who had behaviour most similar to Alex. Three of them turned out to be autistic - those two are in a special school, this one just started university. This one was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and is about to start at Warwick University. This one went through two years of attempted psychological diagnosis, worried his parents sick, and then suddenly grew out of it. So in short, whilst I don't think he is autistic because he is already walking and talking, I think it's possible that he's on the Autistic Spectrum, somewhere."
Guppy nods.
"We've been doing some reading, that was our conclusion too. Thank you for being honest."
He gets to the point.
"I think you know what this is about." he says. "And first of all I want to say that we're here to help you and Alex find a solution to his problems. I'm certainly not going to ask you to take him out of nursery at this point in time - Alex is generally well settled here and I don't like to give up on any child."
Guppy relaxes slightly. It would have been quite a blow for all of them if Barney had decided to expel Alex from nursery. Barney continues.
"Now you both seem pretty observant and aware of your son's behaviour, so I think the best thing here is to be blunt, honest, and compare our notes so far, okay?"
They nod in agreement, then set about comparing notes on Alex - both the good and the bad, and put together a note for his file..
Alex shows signs of being very bright, in that he has reached some of his milestones absurdly early, knows several words and can point out the colours green and blue. Even more hearteningly, Barney reports that he shows some positive behavioural patterns when interacting with others - he will sometimes point out that a child has fallen over, and will respond to 'Please will you bring me...' if the object is not too heavy and in his vocabulary. He will also echo the word 'Hello' when entering in the morning, if someone says it to him first. And he never lashes out at the other children when they aren't upsetting him.
On the downside, Alex will hit, bite, kick or smack anyone who touches him unexpectedly and or without his consent. He will do this until they stop. When upset, he will hit his head against the wall, hide in small places or corners and rock himself backwards and forwards. He also freaks out if you move the furniture; if he is able to push it back, he will attempt to do so for hours, and if not he will sit and cry until you put it back.
Barney makes a photocopy of the file when they're done, and gives it to Guppy and Frogspawn.
"I think there are two things we need to do here, if you're comfortable with them. The first thing is that we cannot have Alex continuously hurting other babies, and Time Out is not working. My suggestion therefore is that we move Alex into the room with the older toddlers in. We can talk to the children there and teach them about not touching him. That will give him some space to settle down again. We'll bring in a few of the younger age group toys, and keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't eat the crayons or anything."
Guppy nods. That sounds like a fair solution and he appreciates the special effort. Barney continues with the hard bit.
"However, in my many years of experience with babies, I can tell you that the ones I have seen with patterns of behaviour similar to Alexander's have almost all needed some form of learning support a bit later. And for that reason I would encourage you to take him to your GP. I'll warn you that it's unlikely that you'll get any definitive answer either way until he's several years older, but it's better to keep an eye on him and watch for the signs than to wait until he's two or three. With or without a diagnosis, he and you might need support now."
"Barney..." Guppy leans forward slightly. "We're prepared for this. We love Alex and we're going to support him no matter what his needs are. So that we don't just go home and speculate... what do you think we're dealing with here?"
Barney slides his chair back and stands up, gesturing to what he calls the Wall of Fame behind him. On it are pictures of hundreds of children, some babies, some with updated pictures. Barney scans his eyes along the rows, then points to five of the children, one at a time.
"These are the five who had behaviour most similar to Alex. Three of them turned out to be autistic - those two are in a special school, this one just started university. This one was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and is about to start at Warwick University. This one went through two years of attempted psychological diagnosis, worried his parents sick, and then suddenly grew out of it. So in short, whilst I don't think he is autistic because he is already walking and talking, I think it's possible that he's on the Autistic Spectrum, somewhere."
Guppy nods.
"We've been doing some reading, that was our conclusion too. Thank you for being honest."
