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Aug. 11th, 2009 10:04 pmGuppy staggers through his front door, carrying the new television. It wasn't Alex's fault that the old one got broken, but it's hard work listening to the new daily tantrum when he can't watch Pingu.
Alex sees him bring in the new television, and beams at him. Guppy grins.
"Right little telly addict, aren't you?" he says, putting it down in the right spot. "Don't worry, I'll have it set up by the time Pingu is on."
He starts plugging in the various wires, tests it, then begins erecting a large sheet of clear plastic in front of it, so that there's no chance of any more flying Wii remotes.
"You're very quiet." he says to Frogspawn, who is sitting on the sofa with tea. "Everything all right?"
His wife sighs slightly.
"It's not much, but, when I went to pick Fry up from nursery, I noticed he got missed out of the party invites again. Once or twice is to be expected, but three times in a row? I was wondering if I'd somehow offended one of the other mums and word had got around."
"Frogspawn, you're about the least offensive person I've ever met." Guppy says, glancing around. "If anyone offended another parent it would have been me. But I bet it's not that, he's probably just too small or there's not enough places for every child."
"See I thought that at first, I'm not one to think anything is personal. But it's everyone in his class, and he's not the youngest any more." She takes a deep breath. "So I asked Bethany's mum if everything was all right. And she said that it wasn't us, it was Alex. Apparently he's been hitting and smacking and biting the other children and they're frightened of him."
Guppy looks at her, then at Alex.
"He doesn't look very violent to me. And he's only got two teeth."
"Guppy we can't ignore this! I've spoken to several of the other mums, and Barney at the nursery. There's no doubt. In fact according to Barney he's injuring two or three children a day. We're going to have to teach him to control himself."
Guppy sits down in front of his wayward baby.
"Okay, we'll work it out. He's not violent at home, or to other adults as far as I've seen, so clearly there's some sort of trigger."
"Barney thinks it's being trampled unexpectedly by other children." Frogspawn says. "Personally, I think he doesn't like being grabbed from behind."
"Okay, experiment time. Grab him from behind."
***
"I'm sorry, I'd have done it myself if I'd realised that would happen." Guppy says, giving Frogspawn a tissue to wipe her slightly blood-oozing nose.
"Guppy, it's fine, really." She grimaces. "Babies hit people, he didn't mean any harm. He was in floods when he saw he'd made my nose bleed. Now we know what triggers it, we can work out how to teach him not to do it."
Guppy nods, but he has his doubts. Teaching a toddler not to hit and bite is one thing, but Alex is too little to understand much more than a sharp 'No!'. This parenting lark is hard...
Alex sees him bring in the new television, and beams at him. Guppy grins.
"Right little telly addict, aren't you?" he says, putting it down in the right spot. "Don't worry, I'll have it set up by the time Pingu is on."
He starts plugging in the various wires, tests it, then begins erecting a large sheet of clear plastic in front of it, so that there's no chance of any more flying Wii remotes.
"You're very quiet." he says to Frogspawn, who is sitting on the sofa with tea. "Everything all right?"
His wife sighs slightly.
"It's not much, but, when I went to pick Fry up from nursery, I noticed he got missed out of the party invites again. Once or twice is to be expected, but three times in a row? I was wondering if I'd somehow offended one of the other mums and word had got around."
"Frogspawn, you're about the least offensive person I've ever met." Guppy says, glancing around. "If anyone offended another parent it would have been me. But I bet it's not that, he's probably just too small or there's not enough places for every child."
"See I thought that at first, I'm not one to think anything is personal. But it's everyone in his class, and he's not the youngest any more." She takes a deep breath. "So I asked Bethany's mum if everything was all right. And she said that it wasn't us, it was Alex. Apparently he's been hitting and smacking and biting the other children and they're frightened of him."
Guppy looks at her, then at Alex.
"He doesn't look very violent to me. And he's only got two teeth."
"Guppy we can't ignore this! I've spoken to several of the other mums, and Barney at the nursery. There's no doubt. In fact according to Barney he's injuring two or three children a day. We're going to have to teach him to control himself."
Guppy sits down in front of his wayward baby.
"Okay, we'll work it out. He's not violent at home, or to other adults as far as I've seen, so clearly there's some sort of trigger."
"Barney thinks it's being trampled unexpectedly by other children." Frogspawn says. "Personally, I think he doesn't like being grabbed from behind."
"Okay, experiment time. Grab him from behind."
***
"I'm sorry, I'd have done it myself if I'd realised that would happen." Guppy says, giving Frogspawn a tissue to wipe her slightly blood-oozing nose.
"Guppy, it's fine, really." She grimaces. "Babies hit people, he didn't mean any harm. He was in floods when he saw he'd made my nose bleed. Now we know what triggers it, we can work out how to teach him not to do it."
Guppy nods, but he has his doubts. Teaching a toddler not to hit and bite is one thing, but Alex is too little to understand much more than a sharp 'No!'. This parenting lark is hard...
