(no subject)

The office has an aura of comfort about it, and the slight smell of leather from the sofa.

"How do you feel about Alexander? Are you bonding with him?"

Guppy looks up, mildly startled by the line of questioning.

"Of course, he's my son. He's adorable and I like spending time with him even if he can't do much right now."

"And yet your anxiety problems have worsened." the man in the other chair says.

"He's not yet out of danger." Guppy fidgets. "It's hard, seeing someone so fragile and delicate, someone you care about. And they haven't worsened in general, it's a temporary flare-up."

He tries not to squirm under the observation. There's just no way of saying 'my friends in other universes keep getting their asses kicked and I'm stressed' in a way that won't result in a very permanent solution to his stress problems.

"What else are you worrying about?"

Damn

"I... I have friends in the army who got in a scrape recently. I know it's their own lifestyle choice but I hate seeing them hurt."

"And you feel angry perhaps that they don't look after themselves?"

"...no." Guppy fidgets more. "They do what they have to do. I just want everyone to be okay. I don't have the right to be angry with them about it."

"So why did you hit something hard?"

Guppy hesitates and looks down at his obviously bruised hand, feeling bombarded with questions. Mark the departmental counsellor opposite him just sits and watches.

"Can I go and see my son now?" he asks after an awkward silence of a minute or so.

"You're not a prisoner." Mark replies with a smile. "You know why you were referred up here, I assume?"

Guppy nods, cringing slightly. He doubts he'd ever actually forget the moment a the day before yesterday when a selection of worried members of his team escorted him up to his boss' office and made him stay on the sofa lying down until he was calm. Even if it did result in compassionnate leave for Christmas, it's still embarrassing.

"Then answer me that one, please, before you go?"

Guppy rubs his forehead.

"I was frustrated, that's why I hit the wardrobe."

"Why not a pillow?"

"It wasn't a planned action."

"Dr Sandhu, did you intend to hurt your hand?"

Guppy looks at the floor.

"No."

"Did it make you feel better?"

"...Yes. But not enough to warrent doing it again. It just cleared my head enough for me to acknowledge that it was a really stupid thing to do."

"Thank you." Mark finishes making notes. "I would like you to come back and see me again - I realise that you said you feel counselling is a step backwards, but I think you'll agree that if you're finding the anxiety particularly difficult at the moment that it would be better to keep an eye on things, all right? In the meantime I want you to keep a diary of your level of anxiety and any triggers you've identified."

Guppy nods again, knowing it makes sense however embarrassed he is.


Frogspawn is waiting for him in the Special Care Baby Unit, and gives him a warm hug as he gets there.

"You're doing better than you realise, you know." she says.

"I feel like I should be taking care of you." he says, wrapping his arms around her.

"You are."