(no subject)
Feb. 14th, 2008 02:11 pm"Well?"
Guppy squirms slightly under the very pissed off eye of the boss. Not Holly, unfortunately. Her boss.
"I'm sorry. I apologised to the patient and their family. They were okay with it, they understood that everyone makes mistakes."
The man slams a hand on the table.
"Not good enough, Dr Sandhu. I do not expect to have to haul my registrars up here because they get an X-ray the wrong way around and put a chest drain in the wrong side. You're lucky it wasn't a more serious procedure. Now what the hell is wrong with you?"
Guppy takes a deep breath. This is always a possibility he's had to prepare for, but luckily this week he has an extra excuse.
"I'm in benzodiazepine withdrawal." he says quietly. "I recently came off my anxiety medication, under recommendation by my counsellor. I have been completely open about this ever since you hired me. An effect of the withdrawal is insomnia, as you will already know."
This seems to pass. The boss's scowl softens just a little bit. Not least because his eyes pass over the little note on Guppy's file that reminds him of the deal he made when he was desperate for staff. 'Give him what he needs, he won't ask more than the minimum and we'll refund you because we don't want him suing City for employing the unregistered madman who hurt him.'
"Ah, yes. Well I don't suppose we can blame you for that. Do you need to take time off?"
Guppy hesitates as his brain yells Yes, yes, hell yes!
"I... it might be a good idea, yes. But I think I've already used it up."
"You've used up your holiday if you're still going to do aid in Cambodia, yes, but only one day of sick leave, which given your condition is actually quite impressive. We hired you for a reason Guppy, and you've already proven your worth to this department in the carbon monoxide and drugs raid incidents. I'm sure we can find you some time to recouperate."
Guppy smiles gratefully and thanks him, wondering why he's being so helpful but not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Having worked through so much overtime in the course of the year he figures he probably is due a few days anyway.
At home, the atmosphere is less sympathetic, as Holly, well aware that there is more to it than his withdrawal, rounds on him.
"I said I'm sorry. The patient was fine, they weren't in any danger, it was just unpleasant."
"That's not the point Guppy!" Holly snaps. "What you're doing is ethically wrong, you can't moonlight for twelve hours in a different dimension every day and expect to be on form."
"I've told you already, I'm not leaving them. And I can't just quit work here, I have a morgage to pay off. It won't be for long."
"You said that last week. How long before you kill someone?"
Guppy loses his temper. "I'm not stopping, Holly. I've made one mistake, and I've battled sleep problems for years. I know my limits better than most because I've been here before. I'm not going to stand back and watch my friends die in there. Or even strangers. There are children in there Holly, people who can't leave."
"Guppy, either you stop moonlighting or I walk out. I'm not covering up for you any more."
They stop, looking at one another.
"Holly..." more pleading now, "don't do that."
"I have to make you see sense. I'm tired of this Guppy."
He looks at her, realising how difficult it all is for her to take in. He's been going to the bar since he was eight, and somehow, it all came naturally for him when he became a regular three years ago. It may have taken time to learn the ways of the place, and being Bound first time nearly drove him mad, but the logistics of moving back and forth were not just unstressfull, but exciting.
"Then I'll come and find you again when this is all over." he says quietly.
"And next time? No, Guppy." She turns and heads for the door. Guppy winces, but there's no panic there this time, just emptiness.
She turns around and looks at him as she opens the door.
"Good luck. Godspeed, I think they say."
Guppy sits down and watches her walk away down the drive. The clock ticks quietly in the corner, breaking through what is otherwise silence.
And then a little wet nose pokes his foot. Guppy looks down, then picks up his tiny dog.
"She'll get over me. I'll try and patch it up when the nightmares are stopped."
Putting the dog down, he gets up and heads back to the bar. There's work to do.
Guppy squirms slightly under the very pissed off eye of the boss. Not Holly, unfortunately. Her boss.
"I'm sorry. I apologised to the patient and their family. They were okay with it, they understood that everyone makes mistakes."
The man slams a hand on the table.
"Not good enough, Dr Sandhu. I do not expect to have to haul my registrars up here because they get an X-ray the wrong way around and put a chest drain in the wrong side. You're lucky it wasn't a more serious procedure. Now what the hell is wrong with you?"
Guppy takes a deep breath. This is always a possibility he's had to prepare for, but luckily this week he has an extra excuse.
"I'm in benzodiazepine withdrawal." he says quietly. "I recently came off my anxiety medication, under recommendation by my counsellor. I have been completely open about this ever since you hired me. An effect of the withdrawal is insomnia, as you will already know."
This seems to pass. The boss's scowl softens just a little bit. Not least because his eyes pass over the little note on Guppy's file that reminds him of the deal he made when he was desperate for staff. 'Give him what he needs, he won't ask more than the minimum and we'll refund you because we don't want him suing City for employing the unregistered madman who hurt him.'
"Ah, yes. Well I don't suppose we can blame you for that. Do you need to take time off?"
Guppy hesitates as his brain yells Yes, yes, hell yes!
"I... it might be a good idea, yes. But I think I've already used it up."
"You've used up your holiday if you're still going to do aid in Cambodia, yes, but only one day of sick leave, which given your condition is actually quite impressive. We hired you for a reason Guppy, and you've already proven your worth to this department in the carbon monoxide and drugs raid incidents. I'm sure we can find you some time to recouperate."
Guppy smiles gratefully and thanks him, wondering why he's being so helpful but not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Having worked through so much overtime in the course of the year he figures he probably is due a few days anyway.
At home, the atmosphere is less sympathetic, as Holly, well aware that there is more to it than his withdrawal, rounds on him.
"I said I'm sorry. The patient was fine, they weren't in any danger, it was just unpleasant."
"That's not the point Guppy!" Holly snaps. "What you're doing is ethically wrong, you can't moonlight for twelve hours in a different dimension every day and expect to be on form."
"I've told you already, I'm not leaving them. And I can't just quit work here, I have a morgage to pay off. It won't be for long."
"You said that last week. How long before you kill someone?"
Guppy loses his temper. "I'm not stopping, Holly. I've made one mistake, and I've battled sleep problems for years. I know my limits better than most because I've been here before. I'm not going to stand back and watch my friends die in there. Or even strangers. There are children in there Holly, people who can't leave."
"Guppy, either you stop moonlighting or I walk out. I'm not covering up for you any more."
They stop, looking at one another.
"Holly..." more pleading now, "don't do that."
"I have to make you see sense. I'm tired of this Guppy."
He looks at her, realising how difficult it all is for her to take in. He's been going to the bar since he was eight, and somehow, it all came naturally for him when he became a regular three years ago. It may have taken time to learn the ways of the place, and being Bound first time nearly drove him mad, but the logistics of moving back and forth were not just unstressfull, but exciting.
"Then I'll come and find you again when this is all over." he says quietly.
"And next time? No, Guppy." She turns and heads for the door. Guppy winces, but there's no panic there this time, just emptiness.
She turns around and looks at him as she opens the door.
"Good luck. Godspeed, I think they say."
Guppy sits down and watches her walk away down the drive. The clock ticks quietly in the corner, breaking through what is otherwise silence.
And then a little wet nose pokes his foot. Guppy looks down, then picks up his tiny dog.
"She'll get over me. I'll try and patch it up when the nightmares are stopped."
Putting the dog down, he gets up and heads back to the bar. There's work to do.