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Jan. 20th, 2008 08:57 pm"What the hell is that?"
"It's just a bruise."
"And those? Have you been in a fight?"
"I was just playing with Will. Sort of... sparring."
"Sparring?" Holly scowls at him. "Since when have you started 'sparring'?"
"It's just a form of stress relief." Guppy grins at her. She doesn't grin back.
"So, you hang out with super heroes, have a twenty eight hour body clock and spar to relieve stress? What else should I know Guppy? Do you go out and fight crime in other worlds?"
"No! Holly, what's the problem?"
Holly sighs. "I... you're not supposed to be aggressive."
"I'm not aggressive. Would you rather I was stressed out?"
"No... I just like you better gentle." she says, slightly tightly. "I feel like I miss out on so much of what makes you you."
She walks out of the room. Guppy looks after her worriedly. He'd figured this might be a problem. And then he feels this... tightness in his chest.
No, no, that can't happen, there's nothing to fear here, if I have a panic attack now, it'll be my first after a non-frightening stimulus, that means I'm getting worse...stop it, you're making it worse.
He swears. This is stupid. Getting worried about the possibility of having a panic attack is making him have one. In frustration he picks up the medication on his locker and throws it out of the window. And then realises this was even more stupid.
Yeah, really smart, you're already past the stage you can normally get back from, now you're going to end up going all the way, because you can't control your own... fuck that, it's my body, I don't need medication to tell me how to breathe.
He concentrates. He remembers the voices of people around him when he's had them before, the comforting words of Atton, or Will, or indeed Holly when she's not busy sulking downstairs unawares and probably making tea.
Five minutes later, he has it completely under control. And he sits back, with the tiniest smile of triumph.
"I win."
"It's just a bruise."
"And those? Have you been in a fight?"
"I was just playing with Will. Sort of... sparring."
"Sparring?" Holly scowls at him. "Since when have you started 'sparring'?"
"It's just a form of stress relief." Guppy grins at her. She doesn't grin back.
"So, you hang out with super heroes, have a twenty eight hour body clock and spar to relieve stress? What else should I know Guppy? Do you go out and fight crime in other worlds?"
"No! Holly, what's the problem?"
Holly sighs. "I... you're not supposed to be aggressive."
"I'm not aggressive. Would you rather I was stressed out?"
"No... I just like you better gentle." she says, slightly tightly. "I feel like I miss out on so much of what makes you you."
She walks out of the room. Guppy looks after her worriedly. He'd figured this might be a problem. And then he feels this... tightness in his chest.
No, no, that can't happen, there's nothing to fear here, if I have a panic attack now, it'll be my first after a non-frightening stimulus, that means I'm getting worse...stop it, you're making it worse.
He swears. This is stupid. Getting worried about the possibility of having a panic attack is making him have one. In frustration he picks up the medication on his locker and throws it out of the window. And then realises this was even more stupid.
Yeah, really smart, you're already past the stage you can normally get back from, now you're going to end up going all the way, because you can't control your own... fuck that, it's my body, I don't need medication to tell me how to breathe.
He concentrates. He remembers the voices of people around him when he's had them before, the comforting words of Atton, or Will, or indeed Holly when she's not busy sulking downstairs unawares and probably making tea.
Five minutes later, he has it completely under control. And he sits back, with the tiniest smile of triumph.
"I win."
