(no subject)

I really need to invest in a cat flap

Guppy blinks in the darkness, looking around for the cat that was, a few moments ago, yowling to get in his back door.

"Scampi? I thought you wanted to come in?"

He hears the meowing again, this time from... lower. He steps forward and finds the floor disappearing.

"Waaaarghoof!"

Squelch.

It's a good eight foot drop, and he lands clumsily in the soggy brown mud. Opening his eyes, he looks into the concerned face of the cat, which licks him, jumps on him and springs out of the hole.

***

"HELP!"

Guppy shivers and massages his fingers. And then looks up as a head peeps over the top of the hole.

"Whatcha doin' down there doc?"

"I haven't the faintest idea." Guppy scowls up. "Would you like to enlighten me on why this hole is here?"

"It's a present."

"A present."

"Yeah." The tree hugger grins. "You said you were worried about thugs, so we made you a trap."

Guppy facepalms.

"I've been down here for over an hour, did you not think at the time it would be an idea to tell me?"

"We forgot. Don't worry." The man grins and lies down, reaching a hand down. "Grab on dude."

Guppy squelches up and reaches for the hand. The man grabs it and hauls him slightly less than gently up.

"There you do, it works."