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Jan. 11th, 2007 08:06 pmThe first time, he was so on edge that he ended up putting the phone down straight away. Tucking himself back into the gap between his bed and the wall and listening to see if Abs heard him. Then, he keys in the number again, takes a deep breath and presses the green button.
When he gets an answer again, at first he can't say anything. But the person waits, and finally he manages to force out words.
"I... I'm not suicidal, I just need someone to talk to. Is that still okay?"
Having been assured that it is, he takes a deep breath and starts from the beginning. Then talks about everything, the things that hurt him, the way it makes him feel. The terror inside that he is dragging down his friends, making them worry or hate him. The nightmares in every graphic detail, down to the tiniest thing. His family. His father. Cyd and Alice. Sam.
When the battery on his phone is about to run out, he thanks the listener and hangs up.
And feels a lot better for it.
When he gets an answer again, at first he can't say anything. But the person waits, and finally he manages to force out words.
"I... I'm not suicidal, I just need someone to talk to. Is that still okay?"
Having been assured that it is, he takes a deep breath and starts from the beginning. Then talks about everything, the things that hurt him, the way it makes him feel. The terror inside that he is dragging down his friends, making them worry or hate him. The nightmares in every graphic detail, down to the tiniest thing. His family. His father. Cyd and Alice. Sam.
When the battery on his phone is about to run out, he thanks the listener and hangs up.
And feels a lot better for it.
