(no subject)

He stumbles through the door and back into his world. The fact that he is not instantly fried by high voltage electricity tells him that his calculations were correct, and he emerges from his airing cupboard into his flat, where he collapses on the bed.
He is in agony; the broken rib is giving him a lot of pain. When he examines it, he realises why. His body has been healing itself in Holby time, not millitime. So his injuries are only an hour old. And he has jetlag.
He hears a crash in his front room, and a splintering of wood. He forces himself up and limps into the other room. There is an axe embedded in the door. It is removed and struck again.
"I know you're in there. I can hear you. I don't know how you got out of that bar but I knew you would end up here."
What is with this guy? Does he never give up?
He grabs the phone and calls the police.
"I'm Dr Guppy Sandhu. I've been attacked by Mr Williams who I told you not to release and he is now breaking my door down with an axe..."
There is another loud crash and a hand reaches through to open the door from the inside. He drops the phone and limps into his kitchen to find some form of weapon to defend himself. Just as he's armed himself with a paricularly vicious looking frying pan to face the killer in his front room, he hears a screech from behind.
"You hooligan! Look at the mess you've made of my front door!"
They both turn to see Guppy's landlady standing in the doorway with one of her many cats. The attacker turns around.
"Shut up, you old bat!"
He advances towards her with the axe. Heck, he knows he's going to prison now; he doesn't care what he does in the meantime. He kicks the cat out of the way and comes closer to her. He raises the axe...
And Guppy hits him over the head with the frying pan. Unfortunately, it doesn't knock him out, it just makes him very cross. He swings the axe around, which narrowly misses Guppy's ear and becomes embedded in the wall. Guppy limps backwards as he punches him, knocking him backwards into the coffee table. For a few seconds everything goes black. He removes the crowbar from his belt...
BANG!
He drops to the ground. As Guppy regains consciousness he sees his landlady standing at the door with a smouldering rifle. She cackles evilly.
"Hah, that'll teach you to kick my cat!"

***

The downside to working in a hospital is that when a deranged killer comes after you, you end up being treated by your collegues.
"There's nothing wrong with my neck Harry."
"We're just being careful."
"I'm telling you, I've got a broken nose, a couple of broken ribs and I was knocked out, so I'll need treating for..."
"Guppy, stop diagnosing yourself. You could have concussion, so I can't take your word for it anyway."
He wishes he wasn't stuck in a neck brace, so that he could see what was happening over the other side of the room.
"Harry? How's Mr Williams doing?"
"I think he'll make it. Lucky for your landlady. I don't think shooting him for kicking her cat will stand up in court, but if she says it was to defend you you should be okay."
Harry glances at the door.
"The police are outside. Do you want to talk to them?"
"Okay."
The officers move over so that he can see them.
"I would just like to say that you are all completely useless."